I shared this on an instagram post with the photo above but I want to share it again here..
on tiktok I saw this video where this lady said “you don’t need closure to hear them say what they’ve already shown you – move on!!“ aaaand I FELT THAT. but now I can’t find the video so I’m just thinking about how much we hold ourselves back from healing, growing and moving on from situations because we are waiting for closure. don’t wait for someone else to close a chapter in your life to start your healing process. a flower isn’t waiting for permission to grow 🌷
I am someone who feels all my feelings 100000%. I love, I love with my entire being, my sadness can be overwhelming, my happiness beams out of me. It’s an understatement to say that I am moody, you will definitely be able to tell how I feel from just looking at my face. I am also someone who can hold a terrible grudge when warranted, it’s something I’ve struggled with -getting ahold and past my feelings- at certain times. Something clicked when I watched that tiktok, a painful grudge I had held onto for over a year suddenly dissipated and I felt that heavy weight of all that anger and pain I had been holding on to this past year off my shoulders. I realized I had let go. I felt free. I felt my joy return back to parts of myself I allowed to stay angry in order to validate my pain. And prevent me from moving on. I also realized I wasted a year waiting for closure from someone else,- when I could have spent this entire time healing.
I thought about how flowers don’t wait for permission to grow, they find light and a little water and flourish in the weirdest places. Sometimes in a crack of a sidewalk or in a bush you didn’t know would bloom in the summer. I want to be like a flower and not wait for permission to grow and bloom. I want to master the art of letting go to prevent myself from living another year with sadness inside me. In today’s world we are encouraged to seek validation and closure, we live off of the instant gratification. I want to encourage you to allow yourself to move on. Let’s choose to be more like the flowers and grow, with and without permission.